Memoir about the author’s childhood, when she was immersed in the world of midlevel competitive figure skating. She got up at four a.m. for practice at one rink, and directly after school went to another to do synchronized skating with a team. She details the rigorous training, long hours, performance stress, the meanness of other girls who saw her as a threat, the way judges expected young girls to look very feminine, which made her uncomfortable. Gradually as the narrative unfolds she tells about why she really became a skater in the first place, and how as the years go on she realizes it’s not her main interest anymore, although she still loves the feeling of being on the ice, the freedom of motion, the thrill of getting a difficult move right, or passing a test. The competitions were another thing altogether. Especially tough since it seems she had little parental support- they drove her to practice and that was about it. Not a lot of explanation why her parents were so distant.
Also relates how she knew she was lesbian from a young age, but was afraid to let anyone know, and when she finally came out as a preteen, the varied and sometimes troublesome reactions of those around her. Falling in love for the first time and then loosing that friendship painfully. Realizing perhaps she enjoyed art or even her cello playing more than the demands of skating- and the solace she found in understanding and kindness from her cello instructor. (Although there was a gap there- a page where she was talking hesitantly about when a tutor attempted to assault her and the teacher asked what happened and the next page switches scenes- did she tell her teacher about it? or not?). There’s also a move to a different state where, in a manner that baffles me, she found that all the skating moves had different names! and the training didn’t seem to be taken as seriously. And a bully she has to deal with in school. And so much more. Skating is a main part of the story because it consumed her life for so many years, but it’s really mostly about finding herself- and a big part of that was finally realizing she didn’t want to be a skater anymore. She’d miss parts of it, but felt so much better when she abruptly left it behind. I know what that’s like, in a way. The artwork in this book wasn’t as compelling for me- I sometimes had trouble telling the faces apart, or reading expressions, but the story has so much to give I didn’t mind.
Borrowed from the public library.