The Tiger’s Child

Sequel to One Child. Glad I finally read this, it’s been on my list for so many years. It was just as gripping as the first book, though a lot of parts are depressing. Years after the events in the previous book, the author decided to write the story and have it published. She wanted to find Sheila- now thirteen- and have her read the manuscript first. It took a lot of work tracking the girl down, as she’d moved with her father and Hayden hadn’t seen her in seven years. When they finally met again, it was very awkward at first, and Hayden was surprised at Sheila’s appearance. She had expected something different. She thought she’d made more of an impact on the girl, back when she was six. But it seems that not as much had changed as she’d hoped. When the teacher moved on to another job and location, Sheila continued to struggle, continued to live in poverty with her abusive father. The brilliance that Hayden saw hadn’t pulled her forward into better situations like she had expected. If anything, Sheila was angry and resentful- she felt that her teacher had exposed her to so much that she couldn’t maintain or achieve on her own- from cleanliness, affection and safety to the impetus of a quality education. On her side, Hayden was humbled by the realization she hadn’t really “saved” this child from her bad living situation at all, upset that nothing had worked out to give Sheila a good future, and frustrated with her in turn- as events unfold in the book, more bad stuff happens, more stress, more revelations about what those five months when Sheila was six had meant and done for her- and in the end, yes Sheila finally got herself a job and independence (now seventeen) but her years in “the system” of schools and foster care and group homes had left her so bitter about it all that her aspirations didn’t match what Hayden had imagined for her. The teacher felt like Sheila was falling short of her potential, but Sheila had to make of her life what she wanted, to be her own person.

I couldn’t help thinking while I read this, especially the parts where Sheila and Hayden discuss things from the classroom when she was six (she had forgotten most of it), how much it must have affected Sheila, to read a book written about her when she was a kid. Describing her actions and words in such detail. Not at all flattering, some of it. I think I’d be very uncomfortable to have things from my childhood preserved so clearly for the world to read. Like Christopher Milne. And it was troubling to see how some things that got confused in Sheila’s mind, equating the early abandonment from her mother with being left by her teacher when that school year ended, had hurt her so deeply and become something she always obsessed and fretted over. It was good to see them finally talking about the most difficult things and resolving issues together, but it was also sobering to see how strongly something could negatively affect a young person for years, when the other person involved didn’t realize it was so significant. A lot more in this book than I can write about here, it’s one I do want to read again someday.

This isn’t really a memoir, but it’s a true story so I categorized it with those.