Why are so many adult graphic novels about such hard subjects? War, chronic illness, devastating loss. This one is a memoir of grief. The author’s daughter died suddenly and unexpectedly shortly before her second birthday. Navigating their new life without a beloved child- I can’t imagine anything more difficult. The pages here are all about the things they do trying to make it through each day, to overcome the feelings of hopelessness, guilt and despair. All while still dealing with everyday responsibilities and this huge hassle of trying to move out of New York city- unable to sell their apartment due to some complicated, irrational-sounding reasons imposed on them- and add to that the heartache of dealing with financial issues surrounding the death of their child. It seems so heartless to have to think about and handle such things while you’re feeling so devastated, but it had to be done… Some panels are just about the overwhelming sink of depression. Or depicting all the endearing and memorable things their child used to do and say. The things they wanted to teach her, and never had a chance to. The bafflement over what happened- could they have seen it coming, prevented it? Seeing portents and omens in things that were probably just unlucky circumstance. Suddenly gathering stories from all sorts of people- friends, acquaintances, complete strangers- about other children who died too young. Trying to find solace and healing in therapy, spending time in nature, and traveling to a retreat. Finally being able to move into a new place, see the possibility of another child in their family, move forward. But never forget. So heartbreaking and solemn. It touched me far more deeply than Imagine Wanting Only This– another book about a period of grief- this felt far more accessible to the reader. Some of the panels are drawn in a simple, cartoony style, others look rougher and sketchy- it fit the mood very well.
One page made me chuckle: the author is on a flight and hears a song someone else is listening to- a Beatles song he doesn’t recognize but it resonates with him. Just the first line of lyrics noted in the drawing made the whole song- tune and all the words- spring into my head because I know that one. He’d never heard it and was surprised- I recognized it instantly. Odd how some things can be like that (my husband is continually surprised when he plays songs I’ve never heard before- or don’t remember that I have- because he assumes everyone will know them).
Borrowed from the public library.